The San Francisco Guide to the Richter magnitude scale is as follows:
1.0 = No such thing. It’s like the number zero. It lives only in theory. Scientists say it exists, but whatever.
2.0 = Please. Don’t waste our motherfucking time.
3.0 = A cough. A burp. A hiccup. Same difference. Except without the noise.
4.0 = Was that a …? No. Yes. Undetectable to travelers in cars, buses, subways. The chandelier shakes, but does not swing.
5.0 = The chandelier swings. People act like shit happened, but nothing really happened. FOX News runs multiple clips of disorderly supermarket aisles. Maybe a cleanup on aisle 5. Was that a car alarm?
6.0 = Shit happened. Ruptured water mains. Minor looting in the Tenderloin. Tenants of skyscrapers soil themselves. Why, O why did the city fathers build directly on top of a fault line? Surely the Ohlone knew this land was cursed. Foolish white man! But the views! O, the views!
7.0 = 1998 redux. How’s that Bay Bridge repair going? Not so speedy? Too bad. FEMA can’t help you now, bitch. The barter value of bottled water, candles and board games increases by a factor of five. Persons with smart phones have the power of feudal lords.
8.0 = Behold, the Wrath of God. Old Testament comparisons to Sodom become painfully apt. Witness undulating waves of earth. Aftershocks for days. The Marina and the Embarcadero have liquefied. What was once “Nob Hill” is now just “Nob”. Life resembles the worst kind of apocalyptic anime. Earth, Wind & Fire are no longer a 70’s band. Half your Facebook contacts are dead.
9.0 = What San Francisco?
Of Montreal - First Time High (Jon Brion Remix).
Easily one of my favorite songs.
They Might Be Giants | Dr.Worm
They call me Dr. Worm. Good morning. How are you? I’m Dr. Worm. I’m interested in things. I’m not a real doctor but I am a real worm, I am an actual worm. I live like a worm.
I like to play the drums. I think I’m getting good but I can handle criticism. I’ll show you what I know and you can tell me if you think I’m getting better on the drums. I’ll leave the front un-locked ‘cause I can’t hear the doorbell. When I get into it I can’t tell if you are watching me twirling the stick. When I give the signal, my friend Rabbi Vole will play the solo.
About Me
I'm Michael, 24 years old, and I have a very healthy obsession with music. I share things that I find interesting and music I think you should hear. Occasionally I post pictures, videos or writings of my own creation. I drink whiskey and write with black ink.
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